Friday, October 2, 2015

The Existential Crisis!

So I have been doing a bit of thinking these passed few days and thought I'd post this random drabble on the internet for many to see.

Now before I get started, allow me to tell you a story:

In my senior year of high school (which was merely four months ago), I was one of the ones that everyone held in high expectations - seriously, it's like the faculty at my school held me on this pedestal and if I so much as sneezed the wrong way, I was to be crucified. I was even expected by most of my teachers to know exactly what I wanted to do with my life before the wonderous day of May 28, 2015 rolled around. That was graduation, by the way^^

Okay. So for the longest time I wanted to be a teacher. Then I wanted to be an OBGYN (don't ask why because I don't even know), and then someone actually expected me to either be a nurse or join the Forces because my family came from a long line of medicine, coal mines, and serving this once great nation that makes me cringe because I have to call it home (not saying America isn't great, just not the best...). Would you even believe me if I said I even wanted to be a bio-medical or civil engineer? Because I did.

To set the scene: senior year, second semester: 

"Marzipan, do you know what you want to do yet?"
"Pan, you're running out of time to decide! Graduation is a few months away!"
"Go into the Army!"
"Navy!"
"Air Force!"
"VoTech for Med Assistant!"
"Teacher!"
"Model!" (we won't get into that...)
"Actor!"


All of these things were being thrown at seventeen year-old me! I was only a baby in the eyes of society and people actually expected me to decide what I wanted to do FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE! This kind of pressure actually pushed me to the breaking point multiple times, and I would actually get so stressed over it that I wouldn't eat (anyone who knows me knows that I. LOVE. FOOD), I was losing sleep, and as I was in theater class once I actually found a few grey hairs. GREY HAIR, at 17! So not only was it killing me mentally and emotionally, it was wearing my body down pretty hard to the point where my parents actually had to force feed me.
Now I bet you're wondering where this is going, and I'm getting there...

There's this little thing you have to do in 12th grade English class where I live called a "senior project". Basically, you take what you want to major in and research it, shadow in whatever field you want to work in, and then present an actual project. So for example, if you want to be a hairdresser, you have to research hairdressing in great detail, write an essay about it, shadow a hairdresser for ten hours, write and essay on that, cut the hair on a wig or, if they're brave enough, a real person, and present all of this in front of a class of thirty.

Here's the moral of this whole post:

I don't care if your 7 or 17 - no one can tell you to make up your mind because it'll more than likely end up changing. If you want to be a hairdresser because you like making others feel pretty, you may find out that five years down the line that you're an introvert and want a job that requires as little human interaction as possible... My point is take your time. Don't rush into things because someone expects you to have it all figured it out. You're young! Have fun, spend time with friends, join a club or find a hobby! But always be sure that you get that homework done!!

Stay sweet everyone!
~Marzipan♥

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